Have you ever had one of those days where things just seemed to be going too well? Yeah, me too. I’ve never really understood how the universe, along with the Travel Gods, seems to know how or when to put things back to their normal state, but gosh, they’re really good at it.
Do I have your attention? Looking for a good laugh today? Great, keep reading.
The Situation
There are lots of things I do for my job. Some I don’t enjoy, but others are really great. Among the latter is a student organization (Collegiate DECA, iykyk) I’m the faculty advisor for. What a great organization and group of students! One of the things they get to do is participate in a series of competitions, largely based on business cases. And as it turns out, their national competition this year is in Bourbon City (Louisville, Kentucky). Fantastic.
In years past, the competitions were far enough away that the students needed to fly to compete. That’s not really an issue, except, for reasons I’m not able to explain, they seem to always find themselves in the midst of flight delays and cancellations. That’s stressful, because if they’re delayed too long, it seriously impacts their ability to participate in their competition.
So, when they announced this year’s competition would be in Louisville, they immediately told me they were driving. Great. And the plan was for me to drive with them, until I realized I’d double-booked myself and needed to come home the day before they were. Okay, no problem, they take the cars, and I’ll take a flight.
Trouble is, our university just renegotiated our rental car agreement, so I wasn’t really sure the students would be able to pick up their cars without issue. So I was glued to my phone all morning, just waiting for someone to tell me they had a problem (fortunately, my student organization is fantastic at getting itself out of a bind, so I really had no reason to worry). Then, finally, it came: a text message from one of my co-Presidents telling me…everything was fine. They got their cars and were already headed back to campus to pick up their colleagues and head to the land of bourbon. Excellent.
A few hours later, I was off to the airport. It was a beautiful morning: cool, a few clouds, no bad weather, and the slightest hint of a breeze (read: Zara was living her best life). I even made it to the airport a little earlier than I’d expected because there was almost no traffic (the week before, when I was going to Chicago, there was some traffic as a semi pulling a load of clementines had fallen over into the shoulder…random, I know). And I got a parking space closer to the terminal. Amazing. As ours is a fairly small airport, we’re usually through security (with Pre-check, obviously) and to our gate in about 10 minutes. This was also true today. Everything is going so well.
Where it Went Wrong
And all was well, as I sat at the gate waiting for the plane to arrive. My itinerary took me to Chicago first, with a very quick 55-minute layover (I know, I know), and then from there to Louisville.
So there I was, drinking my coffee, looking out the massive window, and just waiting. And…waiting. And, waiting. Finally, we heard our plane had landed – about 10 minutes before we were supposed to take off. You’ll recall I had a 55-minute layover. 🙂
The gate agent was very calm and collected, reassuring us that they’d get the plane unloaded, cleaned, and ready to go in about 10-15 minutes, so we should take off approximately on time. We were further reassured that there was a strong tailwind that should help us get to Chicago on time, if not a little early. Cool.
Delays 1 & 2
Shortly thereafter, we assumed our positions as our boarding groups were called, dutifully lining up and heading down the jet bridge. Weirdly, everyone seemed to understand we were dancing on the precipice of being late, and so they just did what they were told, and we were on the plane in no time. Once fully boarded, the flight attendant closed the door and told the captain we were ready to go.
And then we sat there for what seemed like an eternity. Okay, fine, it was probably more like 10 minutes, but it felt like forever. Then, mercifully, the captain came on and said we were ready to go. So we did the usual taxiing thing and headed for the runway.
And then we sat. WTF, mate?
With as much as we travel, I’ve heard a lot of reasons for flight delays. But when the captain came over the intercom and told us they’d put too much fuel on the plane, I was…well, I’m not sure what the right word is. Surprised? Shocked? Confused? How does that happen? Isn’t this all measured? You know all of the variables involved in this equation: the type of plane, the distance to travel, current weather conditions, and how many people will be on the plane. I suppose they don’t know how much each person weighs, but we can use some population information to get a reasonably good guess, right? Wrong, evidently.
So, rather than take off, we had to sit close to the runway – just close enough to see it – and run the engines for 20 minutes to burn enough fuel to avoid being overweight at takeoff. We all looked around at each other, thinking the same thing: can’t they just…pump…it back out? Nope.
Delay 3
Finally, we heard the engines whine as the captain pushed the throttle and told us we were light enough for liftoff. So off we went, climbing into the sky and heading toward Chicago.
One of the unique things about Chicago’s O’Hare airport is that no matter where you land or which terminal your connecting flight departs from, you’ll inevitably taxi along the runway for what feels like the rest of your natural-born life. I keep saying I need to time this, but I always forget, likely out of frustration and pure rage every time I’m there. But honestly, am I wrong? I legitimately think we taxi for the better part of 20 minutes each time we’re there. It’s unreal.
And of course, when you’re already concerned about missing your connection, that taxi situation really does seem to take forever. Honestly, O’Hare, get it together.
Delays 4, 5, 6, and $%^&!
This part might be slightly exaggerated, but this is my story, so I’ll tell it how I like.
After touching down and finishing the taxi process, or so we thought, we came to a stop. Thinking we’d reached our gate, the plane full of people, most of whom had tight layovers, got up and started reaching for their things.
‘The captain hasn’t turned off the seatbelt sign, please stay in your seats, ‘ our friendly flight attendant said over the intercom. I was sitting in seat 1B, so literally the entire plane was behind me, but I can only imagine the looks sent toward the front. We were never told why we’d stopped (it was for about 5 minutes), but all of a sudden we started moving again. Yes! Nope. Stopped again about 20 feet later. Then moving. Yay! Nope, stopped again. This time there was another plane in our way, which is fair, because it’s not like they’re ABSOLUTELY HUGE vehicles, nor do our pilots have AN ENTIRE WINDSCREEN they’re looking out of.
It’s fine. Everything is fine. The other plane moves, then we do, too. Finally! We’ve arrived at our gate. Only, not. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL H*LL?! No ground crew at the gate. But, of course, there isn’t.
As we’re sitting there, I look at the flight attendant who seems to be anticipating my question. ‘What are my odds of making my 2.10 flight to Louisville?’ I ask. ‘What gate are you out of?’ she replies. ‘E6, just a 3-minute walk from our gate, so says the United app,’ I said. ‘Oh, you should be fine. Or well, I think you should be fine,’ she says with a slight smile. Sure. I look at my watch, and that’s about 25 minutes from now.
My Remedy
I put a lot of faith in my flight attendants knowing what they’re doing and saying, but at this point, let’s just say my faith was in serious question. As I stared at my watch, all I could think about was there being no plausible situation where I was getting on that plane.
Rather than get frustrated, I leveraged the magic that is the United app. I pulled up my itinerary, said I wanted to change my next flight, and was immediately presented with a list of flights from Chicago to Louisville the same day. The next flight was about 3 hours later, which was fine, because I’d just head to the lounge and have a beer (okay, maybe two).
A few clicks later, I was rebooked, had a new boarding pass, and instantly felt my stress disappear. All the while, my fellow passengers continued freaking out in the general direction of a flight attendant who was completely unable to move our plane to the gate, despite her best wishes.
One More Delay
We finally got to our gate roughly an hour after we were supposed to. The flight attendant asked everyone with longer connections to remain seated, as there were several folks with very tight connections. Amazingly, people actually listened, so our panicked friends could make their best attempt (some futile, of course) to make their connecting flights.
And as I got up to grab my backpack and leave the plane, I was immediately happy that I’d moved my flight. As I walked off the jetbridge, I was met by a crowd of people, the very same people with those very tight connections, who were now waiting for our valet-checked bags to get to us. Thoughts and prayers, friends.
Concluding Thoughts
Why am I writing this? What’s the point? Truthfully, I’m not sure. If you’re laughing, I assume you’ve been in a similar situation. You’re going to miss your flight despite doing everything you were supposed to do. It isn’t fair. But what is there to do? Two answers come to mind.
First, use technology to your advantage. We’ve mentioned this before, but it really does pay to use the tools the airlines make available for you. I was able to use their app to rebook my flight before I even left the plane. That meant I was less stressed because I had a good Plan B, which involved a trip to the lounge for refreshment.
Second, we’ve also mentioned this before, but be nice to your flight attendant. They’re probably stressed, too, both because they also have another flight to get to and because they’re legitimately ill-equipped to help resolve your tight connections and missed flights. Ask them for suggestions, but don’t expect them to fix the problem right then and there.
And remember, traveling is stressful for everyone, even the pros, so be nice.
P.S.
After a layover in the closest United lounge, I headed to my new gate. Once there, I glanced at my boarding pass to see which group I was in. Group 1. Weird, that’s reserved for…First Class. I hadn’t realized that when I changed my flight, it must have upgraded me to the First cabin.
Touche, Travel Gods. I see you.
